The Top 10 Dumbest Superhero Get-up Goof-ups

Being a superhero is hard work.

We all understand how tough it must be to work around the clock with no tangible, economic compensation; no superhero charges for his task of saving lives. We can all appreciate the effort of being that somebody who is always watching and always willing to get complete strangers out of trouble. We all know that sometimes the very people superheroes strive to protect can sometimes add to the problem themselves by turning against their defenders and becoming spoiled and unappreciative, unforgiving of mistakes, hostile, even villainous. Yup, deciding to become a superhero is almost superheroic in itself.

Superheroes, we acknowledge your dedication to the Greater Good. Nevertheless, may you forgive us our trespass now, oh noble defenders of virtue, if we derive just a little more happiness at your expense. Oh but we know you will, that is what makes you superheroes, and us, only human.

Here is the The Top 10 Dumbest Superhero Get-up Goof-ups.*


10. SupermanYou probably saw it coming. Superman serves as the prototype for every superhero out there. And being the first superhero out of the mold, you can actually expect and forgive his archetypal costume blunders. The tights, the red cape, the primary colors--these are all just statements. Something he could use to differentiate himself as a superhero. But on that fateful day when he looked in front of the mirror, naked, and decided, "I'll put my pants on and then my underwear!" he just plain went too far. It's alright, Superman, we don't mind. In a weird, numb, blind kind of way, it actually looks kind of good. Like a classic.


9. Batman


Coming out of the scene shortly after our beloved big boy blue, Batman is the dark, brooding, almost anti-heroic alter-ego of Bruce Wayne. What makes him so different from Superman though is his complete lack of superhuman powers. That doesn't excuse him from the goof though. If anything it actually makes him more liable for it. "I'm an alien, I'm supposed to be weird," Superman could say. But Bruce Wayne does not have that excuse; he's a billionaire, a socialite, and a playboy, but apparently, none of his social sense spilled into Batman. For a superhero that's supposed to be dark and all, you'd think that the tights and the underwear would be enough; but what's with the big over-adorned "utility" belt? (It's definitely not just a utility belt--it's bright yellow! It's a fashion statement.) Well, that belt's almost as big a faux pas as...



8. Robin


...almost.


7. Wonder Woman
Here's another get-up goof-up for you, courtesy of our amazon queen, Wonder Woman.

Let me break it down for you. We all know that Superman made the "classic" goof-up of wearing his tights before his underwear. Batman contributed to that blunder by wearing a "utility" belt (to add a little yellow to all that shade of black). Robin, in queer shocks of green and yellow, chose to copy Batman's attire while doing away with the tights and opting for something that looks suspiciously like a skirt. Wonder Woman compounded to the mistakes made so far by following Robin's Wonderful idea (no tights, a little slutty but I'm definitely not complaining) and adding an even more Wonderful idea of her own--a belt not on her waist, but on her forehead. That's what I call...ummm...innovative thinking.


6. Spider-Man
You may think that Wonder Woman putting a belt on her forehead was dumb. But look at Spidey here. What's that on his head? That's right. You know it. It's a sock, people. A sock.


5. Hulk (Bruce Banner)


The Hulk has never been known for his intellectual prowess, but Bruce Banner is supposedly one smart guy. That's largely why it's such a mystery to me that he refuses to wear more stretchy clothes. It's simple logic.

Factual premises:

• Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk when angered.
• Bruce Banner is ridiculously easy to anger.
• Hulk tears through Bruce Banner's clothes every single time.
• Bruce Banner has a finite number of lab coats and pants.

Conclusion: Therefore, wearing more stretchable clothing is a good idea.


4. Silver Surfer
I think we've established that superheroes don't exactly have the best fashion sense. Our most beloved caped crusaders have produced nothing but the same type of mistakes. Attempts at recreating the "standard" dress code were almost always in vain; the results only worsened what was already present. Looking at these facts, an analyst would be able to hypothesize that sometime soon a superhero was going to come out with a counter-cultural response. Enter Silver Surfer. Nudist.


3. Martian Manhunter


I know you're Martian and all so the "I'm an alien, I'm supposed to be weird." excuse should apply to you. But c'mon you can change form--altering your body and your "clothes" (the illusion thereof) simultaneously. A fully human disguise may not be satisfactory for you. At the same time, the Nude Martian look may not be for Earth. But of all the outfits in the universe you could choose from, why, my question is, did you have to settle for that one?


2. X-Men


Generation after generation of the multiverse's most capable do-gooders have evolved Superman's fundamental fashion fail into the norm-bending, hyper-mutating aesthetic abomination we now know as the proper and appropriate superhero get-up. However, up until the X-Men came along, superheroes have had to develop their costume changes vertically--that is, one at a time. No more. Now each super-powered character can contribute to the writhing mess of belts, tights, and undergarments (or the lack or modification of the same) by doing it in great numbers. A true get-up gangbang, if there ever was any.


1. Professor XAnd who's ultimately responsible for the new trend in List Item #2? Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Charles Xavier, a.k.a "Professor X," "founder" and "mentor" of the "X"-"men."

Quotes:
"Help me get up."
"I can't feel my legs."
"Scott, I need you in the ""danger" room!""



*adapted from a joke I heard a long long time ago

If you still haven't had enough of superhero get-up goof-ups, then why not try this video I found in YouTube called "Superhero Fashion Emergency" from collegehumor. Enjoy.

Now for those of you still up for more interesting stuff, you may want to check this out.

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